📊
Bathroom KPI Dashboard
Turn your bathroom habits into unnecessarily sophisticated business intelligence.
Launch →EST. 2026 · BATHROOM TECHNOLOGY
Serious software for unserious biological processes.
Free, unnecessarily sophisticated tools for the world's most under-optimized room: the bathroom.
🚽
Enterprise-grade bathroom analytics.Now with 37% more unnecessary precision.😎
Endless poopabilities in a boundless world.Now with 100% more information.The Software
No accounts. No subscriptions. No reason this needed to be this polished.
💩
Lifetime Poop Calculator
Estimate your lifetime bowel-movement output.
🚽
Toilet Time Calculator
Calculate how much of your life you've spent on the throne.
🧻
TP Cost Calculator
Estimate household toilet-paper consumption and spending.
💦
Bidet ROI Calculator
See how long a bidet might take to pay for itself.
💩
Poop Name Generator
Give your next masterpiece a corporate project name.
Poopy Dash™
An unnecessarily sophisticated 8-bit bathroom runner. Help Duke survive the operational hazards of the modern restroom.
💩 Lifetime Poop Calculator
Awaiting inPOOP.
🚽 Toilet Time Calculator
Awaiting inPOOP.
🧻 TP Cost Calculator
Awaiting inPOOP.
💦 Bidet ROI Calculator
Awaiting inPOOP.
💩 Poop Name Generator
Click until the Board approves the project codename.
Awaiting inPOOP.
Bathroom Product Intelligence
The current PoopySoft™ shortlist: three notable products in each major bathroom-maintenance category.
💦 Bidets
01 · Top pick
TOTO WASHLET
Feature-rich electric bidet seats with adjustable wash, heated seating, dryer, and self-cleaning functions. Good Housekeeping lists TOTO WASHLET as its best overall bidet.
Source: Good Housekeeping, 2026
Explore TOTO →Amazon02 · Top pick
Bio Bidet Electric Bidet Seat
A feature-heavy electric seat with adjustable water and seat temperature, a night light, and a self-cleaning nozzle. Good Housekeeping lists it as a best-value pick.
Source: Good Housekeeping, 2026
Explore Bio Bidet →Amazon03 · Top pick
TUSHY Classic 3.0
A non-electric attachment designed for easy DIY installation, adjustable pressure, and a self-cleaning nozzle. Good Housekeeping names it a top bidet attachment.
Source: Good Housekeeping, 2026
Explore TUSHY →Amazon🧻 Toilet Paper
01 · Top pick
Who Gives A Crap 100% Bamboo
Consumer Reports highlighted this triple-ply bamboo paper for being nearly lint-free and a strong overall performer, while noting it is not the softest option tested.
Source: Consumer Reports, 2026
Explore Who Gives A Crap →Amazon02 · Top pick
Charmin Ultra Soft Forever Roll
A giant roll designed to reduce roll changes. Consumer Reports highlighted its softness, while noting that its size requires a dedicated holder.
Source: Consumer Reports, 2026
Explore Charmin →Amazon03 · Top pick
Amazon Aware 100% Bamboo
Consumer Reports called this a budget-friendly bamboo option that is relatively soft, low-lint, and quick to disintegrate.
Source: Consumer Reports, 2026
Explore Amazon →Amazon🧼 Wipes
01 · Featured
Amazon Basics Flushable Wipes
Consumer Reports found these relatively strong, effective at cleaning, and inexpensive. Note: despite the “flushable” label, CR recommends not flushing wipes.
Source: Consumer Reports testing, 2026
Explore Amazon →Amazon02 · Featured
Cottonelle Flushable Wipes
Strong cleaning performance and the highest dispensing score in Consumer Reports' 2026 test, though its drain-line passage performance was weaker.
Source: Consumer Reports testing, 2026
Explore Cottonelle →Amazon03 · Featured
Caboo Flushable Bamboo Wipes
The largest wipes in the Consumer Reports test, made with bamboo and pulp-based viscose, with strong cleaning performance.
Source: Consumer Reports testing, 2026
Explore Caboo →Amazon🍑 Miscellaneous Butt Maintenance
01 · Top pick
Squatty Potty Oslo Bamboo Folding Stool
Consumer Reports' 2026 toilet-product roundup highlighted this folding bamboo stool for its easy storage, cleanability, and bathroom-friendly design.
Source: Consumer Reports, 2026
Explore Squatty Potty →Amazon02 · Bathroom essential
Poo~Pourri Before-You-Go Spray
A pre-use toilet spray designed to create a film on the water's surface and trap odor before it reaches the room.
Source: Poo~Pourri, 2026
Explore Poo~Pourri →Amazon03 · Travel tool
The UnWipe
A compact device that moistens and textures toilet paper. Consumer Reports tested it in 2026 and found that wetting paper actually made it more vulnerable to tearing.
Source: Consumer Reports, 2026
Explore The UnWipe →AmazonPoopySoft™ editorial note: These are current shortlists based on recent expert testing, reviews, and manufacturer information. PoopySoft™ has not independently lab-tested these products, and the ordering is an editorial shortlist rather than a PoopySoft™ laboratory ranking. Wipes labeled “flushable” can still cause plumbing and sewer problems; Consumer Reports recommends not flushing them. Product availability and prices can change.
PoopySoft™ Research
Bathroom research, numbers, and unnecessarily serious analysis.
How Much Toilet Paper Does One Person Use?
Household consumption, annual estimates, and bathroom-budget math.
Read Article →How Much Time Do We Spend on the Toilet?
The arithmetic behind the world's least productive meeting room.
Read Article →Bidet vs. Toilet Paper: The Cost Breakdown
Compare recurring paper spending with a one-time bidet purchase.
Read Article →Why Does Coffee Make You Poop?
A general-information explainer on coffee and the morning bathroom sprint.
Read Article →The Numbers
Completely unnecessary key performance indicators.
∞Potential bathroom analytics
0Reasons this needed to exist
100%Committed to the bit
Bathroom Intelligence Briefing.
Occasional updates about new tools, suspicious statistics, and important bathroom developments.
Why PoopySoft™?
Everyone else is optimizing enterprise workflows. We're optimizing the toilet.
Our mission: make ordinary bathroom questions more entertaining and useful. PoopySoft™ is entertainment/general information, not medical advice. Calculator results are simplified estimates.